Change Is Ageless
I challenge the belief that growth stops with age; transformation is possible at any stage of life. There is a beauty in knowing that until we draw our last breathe, change is always possible.
I cannot believe that there was once a time when I genuinely thought that after a certain age, a person could no longer grow; that they were somehow bound by their past experiences and fixed in their ways. This was not an original idea; this was not something I had deduced from my own experiences. It was something I heard others say, and it is difficult to pinpoint exactly when I adopted this concept myself. I went from parroting what I had heard from others to it becoming something I believed.
We often hear the saying, "Seeing is believing," but what if the truth is closer to "believing is seeing"? When we hold a belief, it shapes our perception of the world. If we believe that older people are incapable of change, we will naturally start to look for signs of stagnation, searching for the rigidity in their lives. Which then serves as our evidence, confirmation that our view is correct. We build a narrative about them based on these observations, a narrative that is not necessarily an accurate reflection of who they are but a projection of our own beliefs.
The reality, however, is far different. As long as we are alive, every moment we breathe and every day that passes gives us an opportunity for growth and transformation. The only true barrier to change is death; as long as we live, change remains possible. To say that age determines whether a person can change is not a universal truth but a subjective notion. What I am sharing here is not a definitive conclusion but an invitation to consider that there is another perspective, one that opens the door to the endless possibilities of growth, no matter how old we are.
The person who taught me this lesson was my mother. When I had my child, she started to change the way she communicated with me. She became genuinely interested in my life: what I was doing or how I was feeling. She still shared her opinions, but it was different; while her disapproval was still clear, there was a tone of respect in her voice. An understanding that this was my life to live. This shift in our relationship also happened because of me, I was willing to change. I got to a point where I fully loved her for who and where she was in her process. I saw the beauty in a woman who was her own person first and my mother second.
Now, every conversation we have, even the difficult ones, is guided by love. I have come to realize something I did not understand before: if I stay true to my decisions and who I am, no one’s opinion—including not hers—should affect me. It should not influence me so much that I begin to treat people based on my emotional reactions to what they say. Doing that would mean I am not grounded in my own choices. Over time, my mother and I have adjusted to each other. We have learned to understand one another better and show compassion through this period of growth because with it comes pain.
I see my mother now, not just as my mother, but as a whole person—someone I fully accept and am proud of. Change is not something that stops with age, and she is proving that to me every day. She is becoming more aligned with the Creator than ever before, stretching herself beyond the comfortable and stepping into discomfort, and it has been beautiful to watch. I pray that when I reach an age where people might say that I am “stuck in my ways,” they will hold space for me to continue growing, for the growing pains that come with it. That is why I encourage all of us to do the same—to make room for each other’s growth, no matter where we are in life.