Live Your Life as If Your Younger Self Were Watching
What would your younger self think about the choices you are making? Explore how changing your private behaviors, can lead to shaping the future you want to create.
"Lead by example." I am convinced that whoever first coined this phrase was a parent. The reason I say this is because I witness it every day with my child. There was one moment when he copied a positive behavior of mine—taking deep breaths. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, whether from emotions or racing thoughts, I pause, count to ten, and take deep breaths. This simple practice helps me center myself. It allows me to focus on my breath, notice the quickening beat of my heart as it gradually slows, and listen to the sounds around me, grounding myself in the present moment. This internal pause gives me the clarity to focus on what needs my attention, rather than becoming consumed by the never-ending list of tasks that come with parenting.
One day, when my child was upset because I told him he couldn't watch his favorite show, he began to cry and stomp his feet in frustration. Before I could step in to help him regulate his emotions, I watched in awe as he started to count to ten and breathe. I froze, amazed. At that moment, I realized he had learned this technique by observing me.
We often teach without realizing it, and sometimes those we influence are not directly in our lives. This experience led me to a profound realization: I started living my life as though someone was always watching, even in my most private moments. Now, you might think this contradicts the idea of disregarding others' opinions in order to live authentically. But that is not what I am referring to. I absolutely believe in shedding the weight of others' opinions. What I am referring to is making decisions that align with your core values and principles, even when they are not the most convenient or comfortable choices at the moment.
Ask yourself, if someone was watching:
Would you choose to clean your kitchen or leave it messy?
Would you get out of bed for a walk or endless scrolling on your phone?
Would you pick up a book or watch TV?
Would you choose a well-balanced meal or a bag of chips?
You might be someone who finds yourself saying, "Yes, I would stay in bed because I recognize my mental fatigue." That is valid, there are some days that I have been there. But for some, staying in bed can be a way of avoiding actions that would actually contribute to their well-being.
Live your life as if your younger self were watching. Would they be inspired by your choices and actions, or would they be disappointed? The decisions we make today shape our behaviors, and those behaviors become ingrained over time. We all know that dismantling learned behaviors or habits is not easy. So, why would you create additional work for yourself when you already have childhood behaviors to deconstruct? If I had to pinpoint something that has provided me with the steepest incline in growth, it is parenting.
When you live with the awareness that someone else is watching, your decisions change. For the first time in my life, failing to let go of what no longer served me was no longer optional. Could I still let go of those things on my own and for myself? Without a doubt. But that is why I emphasize the word “steep” when describing this growth. Parenthood, for me, became the catalyst for the steepest incline in my growth. It has forced me to confront areas of my life that required significant effort to improve, and it has made change feel like a necessity, not something that could be worked on tomorrow.
How can you teach a child not to be emotionally reactive if you cannot even teach yourself? How can you reinforce the importance of rest and sleep if you stay up late glued to a screen? How can you promote healthy eating habits when your child sees you drinking a soda? How can you raise a child to respect their friends when they can overhear you speaking poorly about your own? And how can you ask your child to finish their homework—an activity most do not enjoy—when you give up on your own tasks at the first sign of disappointment or discomfort?
Children learn by observing. We did it, our parents did it, and everyone has been influenced this way at some point. However, I believe that as human beings, we should not tie our identity to any earthly person, place, or thing. That is why I encourage you to live as though your younger self were watching. Even if you are not a parent, this perspective helps you reflect more quickly on your decisions and actions, guiding you to live a life that truly honors yourself.