Slowing Down in a World That Never Does
In a fast-paced world that never pauses, learning to slow down feels like an act of rebellion. How can we embrace this concept when everything around us pulls us in the other direction?
Writing about this topic is incredibly challenging for me, mainly because while it is a lesson I learned last year, I am still actively working on it. It holds particular significance because if I were to simplify all the areas I need to improve into one key lesson, it would be that slowing down and staying present is at the core of everything. If I stripped away all my other goals, crossed off everything on my to-do list, and stopped overthinking the responsibilities I should be focused on, the one thing I would come back to is the need to slow down.
It is tough to write about something you are still working on. The discomfort comes from my process being exposed in real time. Normally, with my friends and family, this exposure would not be uncomfortable, but it is different when you share it with the world. There is a heightened sense of accountability that comes with sharing something so personal, and there is also the pressure of being held to the standard I have set for myself, even if my journey changes over time.
Like most people, I did not truly understand the value of slowing down and staying present until I was forced to do so. When life becomes unsustainable, we realize we have no choice but to adjust. I know this firsthand because I, too, am very human. I started noticing how my stress and fatigue were manifesting in ways I could not ignore — from losing patience with my friends to providing colleagues feedback in a way that I was not proud of.
But despite all of this, there was one area where I did not lose my way: my role as a mother. Even when my emotional tank was running empty, I made sure to give my child all my patience, understanding, and focus. A consequence of this was that I had very little left for anyone else. My ability to pause before responding, to offer thoughtful feedback, or even to care for myself intentionally became almost non-existent. I went through the motions of self-care because it was a habit, but it was not done with mindfulness. I went to the gym because I always had, but I did not take a moment to listen to my body and think about how a walk would be more beneficial than a run. I journaled to unload my thoughts at the end of the day but not to sit in curiosity on the topics during the day that had crossed my mind. My situation is not unique, some people spend years in this state before they realize it is not effective.
It was not until I visited Madrid, Spain, that I truly saw what it meant to slow down and stay present. People did not walk the streets with their phones in hand. Instead, they looked around, taking in their environment. They were not plugged into earpieces but listened to the sounds around them. At meals, people were focused on the food or the company in front of them, not distracted by devices. I was shocked and amazed by how present they were.
Slowing down and staying present does not mean life slows down with you; I wish that was the case. Your never-ending to-do list will still be there; the errands, the people you need to care for, the ways you want to improve yourself — all of these things will remain at the forefront of your mind. What slowing down does, however, is help you prioritize what is important right now, in this moment. It means letting go of the expectation that you need to accomplish everything you have set out to do. I am still working on this, and I am not where I want to be just yet. But what has helped me more than anything is intentionality. I am intentional with my self-care, my alone time, and vocalizing my needs to my loved ones. I am also learning to be more confident in saying “no” when necessary.
For me, slowing down means setting boundaries and being intentional with my time. It means not overcommitting to responsibilities, whether at work or in my personal life. It is about learning to pause before saying "yes" to social invitations, giving myself the space to decide later if it aligns with my priorities. It also means recognizing when it is time to disconnect from the screen and understanding that my eyes and mind need rest.
Slowing down allows us to listen to ourselves, truly listen. Hear what our bodies, hearts, and minds are telling us. When they are in alignment, that is a sign that the only thing standing in our way is ourselves.