What is the Alternative?
In moments of discomfort, we often seek escape, but what if facing it head-on is the true path to freedom? Confronting life's challenges directly; avoiding it only prolongs the inevitable.
The title says it all, doesn’t it? When we find ourselves in uncomfortable moments, it’s essential to ask: What is the alternative to remaining in this discomfort? If you are a parent juggling the demands of work and childcare, what other option exists besides your current approach? If you are single and struggling with loneliness, what other choice is there but to sit with that feeling? If you have endured a traumatic experience, what is the alternative to focusing on your healing process?
More often than not, the answer is that there is no alternative—or the alternative lies in avoidance. It may take the form of engaging in distracting behaviors or seeking a temporary escape from the reality at hand. Yet, what we try to evade inevitably lingers, sometimes growing larger, and the tension we feel may only intensify when we eventually confront what we have been running from. I am also guilty of it. There have been times that a deadline loomed over me, there was a sense of inadequacy that accompanied it, and the fear that the final product would not meet the standards I had set. I have tried to avoid this by focusing on other tasks where I feel more confident, gaining temporary relief from the pressure. But the deadline remains unchanged, the knowledge gaps that hinder my progress remain unaddressed, and soon, the pressure builds to a breaking point. Now, I am forced to confront the work with even greater anxiety, knowing the alternative—incompletion—is not an option.
At the core, we fear the unknown. The uncertainty of what lies ahead can paralyze even the strongest among us. Despite our logical understanding that uncertainty is a part of life, our minds are wired for self-preservation, and our emotions are deeply intertwined with our mental states. Emotions act as signals, telling us that discomfort, pain, or uncertainty represents a threat. Whether we are navigating a difficult healing process or anticipating a challenging experience, our emotions prompt us to recoil; to protect ourselves from perceived danger. In a world full of daily stresses, it becomes an inner struggle to quiet the mind and reassure ourselves that things will be okay. It is a battle to view the things we want to avoid as singular events rather than a tsunami capable of wiping out entire existence.
I experienced a moment in 2024 when my mental and emotional strength reached its limit. I was simply exhausted. My mind longed for rest, and my heart ached to be held. Yet, for months, I avoided both, choosing instead to prioritize tasks that felt more immediately manageable: work, friendships, and parenting. But even in avoidance, the things I sought to escape remained, growing larger and more daunting than they would have if I had confronted them directly. It was then that I began asking myself, in moments of discomfort: What’s the alternative?
The alternative is to face the discomfort head-on. The alternative is to finish the work you have been putting off. The alternative is to realize that there is no easy escape, and any attempt to avoid the truth will only lead down a path that is of disservice to us. There is a profound power in facing our discomfort and in embracing the fact that some situations are beyond our control. There is power in stillness—the ability to sit with what we try to outrun, knowing that nothing lasts forever. In every challenging experience, there is always another side.
Life is in constant motion, and you hold the power to decide: will you stay stuck in place, letting the mud around you harden until it becomes impossible to break free and move forward? Or will you choose to wade through the muddy waters, pushing towards the shore? That is true bravery.